Here’s where my inner Andy Rooney comes out.
How many times have you parked somewhere, between a couple of “normal” vehicles with regular glass in them, only to come back and find that someone with a privacy fetish and dark-tinted windows has now parked next to you? I shouldn’t mind, I suppose, what with all the crime and stolen vehicles and whatnot. Here’s the problem I have with this situation: even though I have a pickup truck with great visibility, the darkened windows on that other vehicle make it impossible to safely back out of my parking space. If drivers are the same where you are, dear reader, you take your life in your hands when trying to back out of a parking space. Other people can see you trying to back up, and they’ll drive right past you without stopping. They think “It’s your fault if you hit me, even if I do see you backing up. The law’s on my side.” Perhaps they have the right-of-way, and perhaps it really would be my fault if I hit them. However, they fail to realize that (most) parking lots are private property. In my area you can call the police for parking lot collisions, but most of the time they won’t even show up. There’s nothing they can do. They also apparently don’t think about the inconvenience they’d experience from their car being in the shop, or how they might be seriously injured and spend time in a hospital. Just like they don’t think about how their darkly-tinted windows block other driver’s views though their windows so they can’t see oncoming traffic. So, I’ll spend considerable time backing out like an old lady because I can’t see if another car is coming at me full-speed.
Closely tied with this illusion that “the law’s on my side” are the morons who walk in front of approaching cars in a parking lot without even looking up. They also won’t hesitate to walk behind cars that are backing out of parking spaces. It”s almost as if they think “If I make eye contact I’ll have to acknowledge them and stop. If I don’t look they’ll have to stop for me.” Several times in my years of driving (not in the past ten years or so, though–I’ve mellowed out a bit) I’ve popped my car into neutral and gunned my engine, which scared the crap out of them and forced them to look up at me in fear. Then they’d realize I was going very slowly and look a bit upset. In this case the law would be on their side if they were stricken by a vehicle. The resulting damage to their bodies could be considerable and their recuperation long and painful, but the law would punish the person who struck them. I figured that these people have a death wish, so if I could harmlessly remind them of their mortality they might think before stepping in front of (or behind) the next moving car.
I don’t trust other drivers. I stop for people backing out of parking spaces, and I’ll wait to cross in front of a car even if they’ve stopped and waved me on. For the life of me I can’t figure out why others don’t do the same.
Next, have you seen the trend in women’s sunglasses lately? It used to be that sunglasses were “normal” sized, and a guy could admire a woman’s pretty face from afar. The glasses usually complemented the wearer and made them look even better. I think the trend started with actresses trying to hide from the paparazzi, but unfortunately women everywhere are adopting these oversized, black swimming goggles they pass off for shades. These make it nearly impossible for a man to admire the beauty of the woman behind them. No guy wants to approach a woman wearing the damned things–we assume that the wearer must be ugly so we don’t even bother to make contact, even if the rest of your package is nicely wrapped. So ladies, if you are wondering why you can’t get a date look in the mirror…if you can see anything with those stupid-looking things on your face, that is. Or, if you’re really serious, go pick up an automatically-darkening welder’s mask at Harbor Freight. You just might start a fashion trend of your own!
The Virtual Venesect 