July 26, 2011

The Most Depressing Song Ever…?

I finally found it today.  When I was young I heard a song that haunted me for years, but I couldn’t remember the lyrics. All I could recall was that the song dealt with an airplane crash. The victim who narrates the song talks about the blood flowing from his body, the immense pain he’s in, and intimates that his girlfriend is dead.  The song was banned from radio play, as I recalled, because there were rashes of suicides from depressed people whenever the song came on.

Even with the wonderful information-gathering capability of the Internet the name of this song eluded me. I asked a number of radio people if they recalled the song or could name it, but always got a blank stare or a negative response to my email queries.  I thought I remembered that the song came out in the mid-to-late 1960′s but, as it turned out, I was off by a few years.

While researching another recording artist today I found a Wikipedia article called “List of 1970s one-hit wonders in the United States.” There under the year 1971 was a song called “D.O.A.” by Bloodrock. Something clicked, and after reading the entry on Bloodrock I thought I had the right song but was still unsure.

The album: "Bloodrock 2"

Don't listen. You'll regret it. Really.

I went to YouTube and there it was…all 8 minutes and 30 seconds of it, in all its depressing glory. You can find it here.  A warning before you click the link: you will probably be depressed after listening to it.  Really, really depressed. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Why was this worthy of a blog post? I’d asked so many people about this and, since no one seemed to remember it, I began to think I was losing it. I’ve finally found the answer, and I’m so happy. At least, I was happy until I listened to the damn thing again.

So is this the most depressing song ever, or do you have another candidate? Feel free to post a comment and pass along your recommendation(s).

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July 23, 2011

Casey. Caylee. Caseycayleecaseycayleecaseycaylee. Enough already!

By now nearly everyone who hasn’t been living in the far-flung hills of Appalachia has heard of Casey Anthony and her deceased 2-year-old daughter Caylee. Just in case you’re one of those hill-folk here’s a rundown: In 2007 the girl turned up missing. Casey didn’t report the child as missing for a month. Caylee’s remains were found a while later after intensive searches by volunteers.  Lots of forensic evidence was examined, including ‘material’ from her daughter and a horrible smell in the trunk of Casey’s car. Casey spent several years in jail awaiting trial, and when she finally went to trial a media circus formed. The trial was hyped to high heaven. CNN’s “bitchin’ babes” Nancy Grace and Jane Velez Mitchell  yammered constantly about the case for several years. When the trial began they went into a rabid-dog frenzy over every detail. You couldn’t turn to the network without seeing some Casey/Caylee bulletin or announcement of ‘new information.’  CNN truly earned the nickname ‘Chicken Noodle News.’ You know–all nutrition-less filler and little real meat, just like the product of a certain well-known old-line American soup maker whose name begins with a “C.”

The trial finally concluded with verdicts of “not guilty” for each of the three counts; the only things that could be pinned to Casey were four counts of lying to the police. She was sentenced to four years, one year on each count, from which her time served was subtracted as well as the traditional “time off for good behavior.” The net result was that Casey was released a little over a week later.

Two weekends ago she was released. The press camped out at the jail to cover every exciting detail of her ex-perp walk. The end result was a quick trip by Casey from the jail to a waiting SUV, wearing a serious face until she got into the vehicle. A reporter got a picture of her as she entered wearing a smile of relief; afterward she was driven off. A news chopper tried unsuccessfully to follow her but was given the slip in the darkness. The release of her smiling image set the dogs off again, with all manner of regular folk and the media commenting nastily on why she was smiling and how sick they all felt at her seeming happiness.

An all-American girl...see? She's even wrapped in a flag.

Casey shows her patriotism before her world caved in.

You’d think it was all over, and could be forgiven for thinking so if you were a rational person. The news channels kept replaying the same thirty-seconds of Casey leaving the jail ad nauseaum the following day, with CNN’s reporters staying on-scene for hours after the non-event all the while discussing…what? The same few facts, conjecture, et cetera. As of today literally EVERYBODY is playing Where’s Waldo? and trying to find out where Casey went to.

My message to all the news outlets: STFU and move on!

Having said that, let me state the obvious: I think Caylee’s story was a tragedy. However, the public was not made privy to the details of the case; twelve jurors were. It was their job to decide whether or not the woman was guilty of murder beyond a reasonable doubt. Heard that before? It’s one of the basic tenets of our judicial system in this country. Given the evidence that was presented to them, they concluded that there wasn’t enough tangible evidence to lock her away or take her life. Despite her trial by media in which the woman was summarily condemned, the courts found her not guilty of the charges.

It’s all over now. Justice may not have been served by the legal system (at least according to all the armchair lawyers) but that’s how it goes in this country. Her life from this point forward, if you could call it that, will not be easy. She’ll be constantly recognized wherever she goes, and will not live a peaceful existence as if nothing ever happened. She’ll probably be spit upon, personally attacked, harassed and worse.  She’ll be lucky if some nutjob with a retribution complex doesn’t kill her in the first year of her freedom. She’ll be practically unemployable, at least in any capacity where she deals with the public.  She alienated her family (and probably most of her friends) so she’ll lead an isolated existence. Most, if not all, of these points could still be applied to her if she’d been given life in prison; the future she now faces in many ways is more unbearable than prison.

Let’s let this woman and the particulars of her case fade into the past and move on, shall we? The best we can hope for, if she was truly guilty, is a fate similar to OJ Simpson’s. Karma’s a bitch, and maybe she’ll end up in prison for something completely unrelated. Like it or not that may be the best that society’s collective rage can hope for.

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April 26, 2011

“We Play Anything…” Really?

I don’t know about you, but lately I’ve had it with hype.  Marketing strategies, ads everywhere you look, long commercial breaks on TV and radio, and all kinds of web tracking that allows companies to litter your web travels with their useless messages. Everybody’s trying to put their hands in our pockets, and everyone’s got an angle.

Dayton radio has sucked hard for years.  Variety was sorely lacking; we have several country stations, an ‘album rock’ station that has been running the same format (with almost the same songs) since the seventies, an easy listening/contemporary station, several talk radio stations, and a few stations that play newer alt and hard rock. Oh, and the urban (read: rap) stations. It seemed that most of the stations were owned by Clear Channel, and they had severely limited playlists.   It’s for this reason that I can’t stand to listen to Cheap Trick, the Eagles, or Pat Benetar anymore.  It’s absolutely incredible that these bands and artists lasted as long as they did but only had one hit song apiece (at least according to Clear Channel.)

In November 2007 a local radio station changed it’s format and mantra to “We play anything.” Fly 92.9 started off great and played a lot of the radio mainstays, but many times a day would pull a song out of rock and roll heaven that hadn’t seen a turntable in years. You could count on being pleasantly surprised more often than not, and they breathed life into Dayton radio. At least on one end of the broadcast band.

Over the past couple of years, however, they’ve started slacking off. They don’t pull the moldy oldies out of the vaults like they used to. And more often that not they’ll play a song you’ve heard way too many times and say something like, “Betcha didn’t think we’d play this one today.”  Uh-huh. I really didn’t–after all, you already played it several times this past week, most recently yesterday afternoon…

So I’ve been getting more tweaked off when I hear their “We play anything” slogan. Will they really play anything?  What two pieces of music would be so unlikely for them to play and so stylistically different that airing them would validate their insipid marketing scheme? An idea occurred to me, so I visited their web page and submitted the following feedback (the wording’s not exact as I foolishly didn’t keep a copy for myself):  “I like your station but I am tired of your false advertising. You can’t truly say “We play anything” until you’ve played “Shaving Cream” by Benny Bell followed by Tchaikovsky’s “1812 Overture” during your peak daily listening hours. Oh, and if you did ever do that, I’d appreciate an email “heads up” to be sure I’ll be listening.”

Several hours later I received an email reply from program director Brad Waldo.  It read, and I’m quoting here, “I appreciate where you are coming from. We do not equate the ability to, and behavior of, “playing anything”, to the necessity of playing everything.  Thanks for listening. And if I do decide to do that segue, I will definitely send you an email to clue you in!”

Weasel-word marketing strikes again. Yes, we can play anything but we don’t see a need to play everything. But if you don’t play at least some oddball, totally incongruous pieces once in a while, can you truthfully state that you play anything? I haven’t heard “Shaving Cream” on local radio since the early eighties, and the only station that would’ve played the “1812 Overture” changed to country back in 1989. (For the sake of argument here I’m not counting the public radio stations. Their programming is so eclectic that it’s hard to tell what they’re playing when they’re playing it.)

In the meanwhile I’ve been listening to a new station. One of the longtime local country stations changed formats in March to become “Click 101-5,” a new ‘adult contemporary’ station. Their mix of songs is pleasing (for now)…we’ll see how long they remain fresh and relevant.

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March 30, 2011

Hacking / Modding the Bissell Little Green Cleaner

 

I bought my first Little Green Machine in 1994.  It was a first-generation, ugly, dark green box with one purpose: to suck up pet accidents and spills.  It was the only thing on the market at that time, and I desperately needed something to assist in cleaning up after an aging dog with bladder control issues.  It worked well, and I got several years’ use out of it for my $70.00 investment.  Eventually a plastic hose barb cracked inside the unit and I couldn’t find a replacement so I trashed it.  Bissell has always had a policy of refusing to supply internal repair parts to customers, thanks to paranoia about consumer lawsuits.

I purchased a newly redesigned model at that time—one that sort-of resembled an egg standing on its fat end.  It was a poor redesign with some flaws (like solution heaters that constantly failed) that I made do with for several years.  I must say here that Bissell was good about support.  After writing to complain twice about product failures, they replaced the unit both times at no charge.  The second exchange was for the first version of their 1400-series model (Figure 1) , which at the time was brand-new.

The Bissell Little Green

Figure 1. The Bissell Little Green.

I’ve been through three of these in the last six years.  After the first unit of the new series died, I began studying their design to see how I could service it myself (and extend its life a few years as well).  These things have gotten progressively more expensive, and my last replacement was priced just over $100.00.  For that amount of money I expect something to last longer than a year!

Quirks and Design Flaws

The first redesigned 1400-series model had a simple storage clip on its backside that you’d snap the hose’s sprayer wand into.  The wand was always popping out of the clip and hitting the floor, which would eventually crack the sprayer head and further decrease its already weak suction.  Other problems included: the solution heater would die, the sprayer would simply stop working, or would begin to clog after using the unit for six months or so.  The wand would drip cleaning solution after you finished using the unit and were putting the wand away.   Finally, the cleaner would develop a stench from the urine I’d be cleaning despite rinsing the unit‘s recovery tank after each use.  This is due to the way the recovery tank is designed.

Phew!

Figure 2. Tank areas that collect waste material.

You can see by looking at Figure 2 that there are a couple of problem areas (circled in red) near the recovery tank’s top.  These seem to collect material that eventually begins to smell.  Simply swishing hot water around in the tank is not sufficient to clean the areas, and you cannot access the tank’s insides to physically wipe the surfaces clean. The sprayer head and wand connection point was designed such that dirty water tends to collect in the nooks and crannies which also creates an unsightly, stinky mess.  This junction also provides a break in the air stream and contributes to the unit’s biggest problem– it simply doesn’t have much suction power.  The area you clean will remain fairly damp.

Design Improvements in newer models

I kept that original 1400-series model going for three years, by my estimates about two times longer than I should’ve been able to.  The fixes were fairly simple for a geek to do.  The recovery tank sat on a very thin rubber gasket that was glued to the main unit’s base.  This was in addition to the rubber gasket on the tank itself.  The base unit’s gasket began to wear away after a time, and I managed to make a replacement from some sheet rubber I purchased off of eBay.  I cracked the sprayer head attachment apart and re-glued the pieces together with five-minute epoxy.  I also glopped extra epoxy into the designed-in gaps and cracks while I was at it, which helped increase suction.  I finally had to retire the unit after trying to discover why its motor was whining so loudly.  After I took the unit apart to possibly oil the motor I learned more about the unit’s Achilles’ heel.

The currently-sold unit has several design revisions that seem to address some of the problems.  The wand clip on the unit’s back has been redesigned and includes a swivel arm that locks the wand in place.  Hallelujah!  No more dropped sprayer wands!  The sprayer hose has been changed from a solid green to a greenish-tinted clear hose.  This allows the user to see how much crap is in the hose (and tell how well the suction is working).  The recovery tank’s base gasket is gone (shown in Figure 3 sans gasket), which also eliminated a source of fluid leakage into the base.

No more gasket!

Figure 3. Redesigned recovery tank dock on base.

Finally, Bissell redesigned the sprayer head with better welds and eliminated the extra gaps.  This helps to a degree, but the redesign introduced several new ways for dirty solution to collect in the sprayer/wand connection and stink up the works.  They did nothing to redesign the collection tank tower, which still collects material that leads to ‘Stinky Tank syndrome.’  My current unit had its hose replaced twice, once under warranty.  (This may have been due to my sucking up hot water in order to flush and de-stink the unit.)  The original hose was a little too short and it was under stress when the wand was placed into the clip.  The stress also ended up breaking the clip after the unit was no longer under warranty.  I performed a couple of simple fixes to increase its suction but didn’t implement anything major.  I performed the second hose replacement myself, as I finally found a source for internal parts.  I had to buy a second unit while waiting for the parts to arrive as they were backordered for a month-and-a-half.

 

Why doesn’t it suck (enough)?

The Bissell Little Green’s designers had a challenge, I’m sure…how could they suck up a spill and easily separate the water from the air?  Most wet/dry vacs have a foam filter that the suctioned air passes through, which keeps the water out of the exhaust.  I’m sure the designers didn’t want their customers to deal with replacing a filter (liability lawsuits, you know!), given the tendency for most consumers to screw up the simplest of operations.  This probably led to the current design.

Suction is provided by a motor with a squirrel cage fan attachment located in the base.  Air and water are pulled into the sprayer head, through the hose and into the recovery tank.  The tower-like structure you saw in Figure 2 is divided in half.  The water falls into the tank since it’s heavier than the air, and the air exits the hole in the opposite side of the tower.  The air stream then passes the fan/motor assembly and is blown out the unit’s backside. Simple design, yes, but flawed.  The air has a high degree of moisture in it, and there is no filter of any kind to protect the metal motor and blade assembly.  If you have too much suction the air will have even more water in it; this will accelerate the disintegration of the motor and allow water to blow out of the exhaust port with the air.  You read that right—the motor will disintegrate faster.  This is the Achilles’ heel I mentioned earlier.  When I disassembled my last unit to try and oil the motor, I discovered that the blades and motor casing were so rusty that they practically fell apart in my hands.  That was what caused the motor to scream and whine.  This is a marketing textbook example of built-in obsolescence!  At the time I didn’t know where I could get repair parts, but now I know and will share the source with you.

Making Things Suck More

So, we know that the unit will eventually stop working due to the disintegration of the motor.  Should that stop us from making the unit work a bit better? NO!  If it’s going to have a finite life before we have to repair it, let’s mod it to perform its job better.

O ring to replace is seen vertically in middle of picture.

Figure 4. The Sprayer/Wand junction.

Look at the sprayer/wand connection in Figure 4.  You can see a rubber O ring that attempts to seal the wand/sprayer connection point.  In my last unit this O ring was so loose that no seal was taking place.  I went to the hardware store with the old ring and found a new one that was a little thicker.  Its size is given as a “number 32.”  I replaced this ring, which now requires the user to jockey around a bit when removing/reattaching the sprayer head.  The improvement is well worth the additional effort that will be required.

Now take a close look at the sprayer head/wand.  If you’ll notice, there’s a button that you have to press down on to remove the sprayer.  This is located on a molded plastic lever that flexes when the button is depressed.  This design feature also allows a good deal of suction to exit the hole around the lever.  Additionally, the end of the wand does not seal inside the sprayer head.  This is a second point that allows air to exit around the lever and allows dirty water to accumulate.  Sealing that leak will require a bit more work; however, we can significantly increase the suction by installing a flat rubber seal into the wand below the button/lever assembly.  How much additional suction does that give?  I don’t have a scientific method to gauge it, but by simply holding the sprayer head against my hand with the unit running before and after the mod, it feels as if I’ve approximately doubled the suction.

I took a piece of 1/16” thick sheet rubber and cut a 1.5-inch by 3.5-inch piece from it.  I then applied rubber cement around the edges of the piece (Figure 5) leaving the center dry.

Put glue only on edges of pad, nNOT in center.

Figure 5-a. Apply cement to pad edges on one side only.

 

See? Nothing in the center...

Figure 5-b. The finished pad.

This is important!  If the rubber adheres to the lever, it will be extremely difficult to work the lever and remove the sprayer head.  Next, I folded a piece of paper from a magazine (Figure 6) and inserted it into the slot around the lever.

Protect the lever from glue!

Figure 6. Protecting the lever from glue application.

This allows you to apply contact cement around the lever without accidentally getting glue on the lever itself.  Apply rubber cement to the inside of the wand in approximately the same area where the rubber will go as in Figure 7.

Carefully put glue into the wand...

Figure 7. Apply glue into the wand.

After applying the cement into the wand, quickly pull the paper out of the slot.  Now wait about five minutes to allow the glue to get tacky.  After you’ve waited, flex the rubber piece in an arc as shown in Figure 8 and carefully insert it into the end of the wand with the glue side facing the glue inside the wand.  DO NOT ALLOW THE PIECE TO CONTACT THE GLUE INSIDE THE WAND UNTIL IT’S IN POSITION.  If you do, it will be extremely difficult to remove.  You may want to use forceps or tweezers to assist you in alignment.

Be careful! Pad can stick where you don't want it to go!

Figure 8. Carefully placing the pad into the wand.

Once it’s aligned, press the rubber into place, exerting pressure around the edges of the rubber.  You may have to use a tool to reach in and push the edges down.

Made it!

Figure 9. The pad in it's proper place.

Let the piece sit overnight to dry; then reattach the sprayer head and turn the unit on.  You can hear a little bit of air still exiting the hole around the button.  Hold the sprayer against one hand and cover that hole with your opposite thumb.  If you tried the suction before the mod, you should notice a considerable difference in the amount of suction after the mod.  If you wish to cover the hole with a piece of electrical tape you can easily seal the leak, and remove the tape when you wish to clean the unit.  Alternatively, simply cover the hole with your thumb as I do while using the Little Green.  I am considering milling a second channel around the end of the wand with my Dremel tool, then using a second O-ring to completely seal the connection.  This would allow for more comfortable use of the sprayer wand.

Some tips on using the Green Machine

1)  Clean the unit after each use by holding the sprayer head under warm (not hot! I learned my lesson…) running water.  I will sometimes mix some pine-scented cleaner with water in a bucket and pull that through the hose. Note that you can only suck so much fluid into the recovery tank; there’s a white line on the tank showing the maximum level.  When you’ve finished flushing the sprayer head and hose in this manner, hold the sprayer head above the unit pointing upward for a moment or two to allow all the remaining water in the hose to be sucked into the recovery tank.

2)  Stopping the dribbles. When you’ve finished cleaning a spot and you’ve turned the power off, hold the sprayer head above the unit pointing upward and depress the trigger. Hold the trigger in for a count of five before releasing it.  MAKE SURE THE POWER IS OFF BEFORE DOING THIS OR YOU’LL SPRAY HOT CLEANING SOLUTION ON YOURSELF OR SOMEONE ELSE. Performing this maneuver allows any cleaning fluid still in the hose/sprayer head to drain back into the unit, and prevents leakage when you’re moving the sprayer head around to clip it onto the unit.

3) Clean the recovery tank after each use. Do not allow material to stay in the recovery tank!  This allows the material to soil the plastic and contributes to ‘Stinky Tank syndrome.’  Dump the recovered material into the toilet and flush it. Use the toilet because any pet hair in the water may clog your sink drain.  Run hot water into the tank from the top hole, then turn and twist the tank to thoroughly swish the water around before emptying the tank again into the toilet.  Remove the rubber gasket from the bottom of the tank and clean it with soap and water or pine-scented cleaner as well.  Material tends to collect on the backside of that gasket and also creates a smell.  If you have a bucket that’s big enough, you can dump the entire tank into a water/pine cleaner mix and get things smelling a bit better.

4)  Use only distilled water in the unit. I cannot stress this enough.  The minerals in tap water can build up after awhile and collect in the heater assembly.  This can clog the sprayer when bits of the accumulated minerals fracture off and mix with the cleaning solution. When the sprayer wand gets clogged you’ll see that fluid has entered the head but nothing exits when you press the trigger.   To remove the clog you can usually insert a cotton swab into the channel inside the sprayer head, and gently move it around to catch and remove the clog.  Occasionally the clog gets wedged into the sprayer hole; this requires pushing a slightly-bent straight pin into the hole from the outside to push the clog out. You can then use the cotton swab to remove it.

The heater itself can be cleaned by first disassembling the unit and then removing the cover on the heater but it’s a major hassle.  The heater box sits atop some plumbing bits and has a thin hose entering and exiting on its sides. To get inside it you remove the screws that hold the top cover on.  You’ll see maze-like channels inside the heater, and should see whitish material inside those channels.  Those are the mineral deposits, and you remove them by scraping them out.  You’ll then replace the top cover and reassemble the base.  This can take up to an hour the first time you do it.

 

Getting Repair Parts

I don’t know why it took so long for me to find a parts dealer (despite Google), but Hesco Sales (www.hescoinc.com) will sell you any part they can get from Bissell. There’s a section on their website where you enter your unit’s model number and can pull up exploded diagrams of the unit to help identify your part. In my case the part data wasn’t available on their site. Several emails later they had the part information and made the part orderable. Note that they have a $25.00 minimum order, so my advice is to get a couple of the hose clips I mentioned earlier. They’re inexpensive and make good filler material for your order. Besides, you’ll eventually need them.

Hopefully you found this information useful, and maybe you will be able to save your unit from the trash heap (or have gotten the courage to rescue one from the thrift store).  If one person can keep their unit running longer I’ve done my job.

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July 29, 2010

Playing the Blame Game

or, Why Do People Waste So Much Time Scapegoating?

 I worked for the local PBS station in a previous life in IT support. I considered it a dream job—I not only supported computers but got to indulge my interests in audio, video, doing voiceovers, and TV.  It was really great for the first year-and-a-half…and then things started coming unglued.  Besides the fact that the working environment was, as one of their video editors put it, an “effing Peyton Place,” the top management was inept.  There was a President/General Manager who didn’t understand many of the technical complexities and didn’t care (surprise!), he just wanted to use every available resource to make money.  The Chief Engineer at the time, and my boss, was a big Teddy Bear who was always eager to please and would roll on his employees and his decisions when the President barked.  Those of us who understood how things worked and asked detailed questions about proposed plans were deemed “negative and un-cooperative.”  I was unfortunate enough to get tangled in some of those “Peyton Place” machinations and, after experiencing a catastrophic event that is every IT support person’s nightmare, was eventually invited to tender my resignation as the station and I were “no longer a good fit.”  They were generous in that I was allowed to work part-time for six months at full salary, while I searched for a new job.  (They were probably afraid I’d do something nasty to them or their computers, or sue them for wrongful termination.  But after another staff person admitted they’d been deliberately corrupting the station’s program rights database and I got her fired, you’d think they would have understood I don’t play that way. Whatever—I got another, better job within a few months.)

That nightmare catastrophic event was the failure of a hard drive in the station’s PBS messaging and email server. At the time PBS gave every station an Apple Quadra 650 (as I remember) that ran a program called FirstClass.  The machine came with a magneto-optical drive (remember those?) for backups.  A backup program ran a script nightly, and the backup discs were regularly rotated.  The problem with most backup systems is that you cannot tell if your backups are any good unless you try to restore them.  One evening the main hard drive in the Quadra failed.  An attempt to restore the previous day’s data failed, as well as the day before that, and the day before that.  I was finally able to restore the data from several weeks before, but a lot of data was lost.  Since most of the staff used FirstClass as a virtual filing cabinet for all their data (despite being warned many times not to), several important people like the business director were ‘inconvenienced’ in a major way.  I admitted the failure to the entire staff in the weekly meeting and accepted the blame for the failure without making excuses.  That must’ve been a first; the director of corporate sponsorship told me later with a hint of awe that he really admired me for doing that.  Later I found out that the business director went nuclear in a closed door meeting with the upper level staff and ranted, “Somebody’s got to pay for this! There has to be consequences!”  Not long afterward the invitation came that forever changed my life for the better.

In the ten+ years since I’ve thought a lot about that phase of my life, and what I’d have done differently.  We were always pressured to cut costs and do more with less, but I should have invested in a couple of identical hard drives to practice installing the backups onto.  I should have retired those damned MO discs and simply used hard drives in a regular rotation.  Forcefully reminding the staff to copy their valuable information onto other media on a weekly basis would have been a good idea.  (So would having a boss that would make a decision and back it and his staff under pressure, but I digress.)  I’ve also thought a lot about the business manager’s insistence for blood in retribution for his loss—not in a vengeful way, but in a realization that the bloodshed didn’t solve one single problem.  Instead of looking at the issue and saying “It doesn’t matter how we got here—how can we work together to solve this crisis?” the only acceptable option was to “kill” the person who screwed up regardless of that person’s previous record.  (In my case the other entanglement sealed my fate, but my boss’s revelation that the President/GM never thought I was the right pick for the job probably meant I was a goner anyway.)

I’ve seen this problem before, many times—most recently in the case of Tony Hayward, BP’s beleaguered CEO.  Tony was probably like most corporate CEOs.  Most if not all of the company’s daily operations were not even on his personal radar except in the broadest sense.  His primary concern was most likely how to grow BP and increase its value for shareholders.  Things like safety violations and drill rig design compromises were left to others many management levels below him, and when those topics arose they probably never got to his level.  Yet BP made Hayward its public face, a spokesperson charged with soothing frayed nerves and tempers while trying to spin the tragedy into a less negative event.  There were a couple of problems with that decision.  Hayward was not from the States so he had no idea about the area and what it provided to the country.  He was unable to soothe tempers or nerves when various attempts to stop the leak failed.  He was chained by company lawyers into political triplespeak that shielded the company from serious legal consequences if they admitted certain things outright. And he had a fatal flaw many enlightened people share: he could see the futility of the blame game and he visibly displayed his intolerance for it.

Keep this in mind: I’m not advocating for Mr. Hayward or his company in any way. What the company did not only in its reported flaunting of safety rules and regulations as well as compromising the well’s design is inexcusable.  The best thing BP could have done early on was to accept full blame and financial responsibility without leaving wiggle room by saying they’d pay “all legitimate claims.”  The media were in full offensive position before, but feelings toward BP became more hostile after that statement was made.  Then came the thousands of reporters asking the same inane questions over and over again, as well as the constant interviews with “the little people” (as BP chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg gaffed during a press conference) showing how their lives were devastated.  All of this constant attention and yammering is like a hammer, beating the carcass of the horse long after the beast’s life has departed. I believe BP gets it—they screwed up in the most public way possible and were caught in flagrante delicto.  I believe they know exactly how much trouble they’re in and how much the environment will be impacted, but perhaps not how much it will cost them.  Mr. Hayward had finally had enough when he said he wanted his life back—a statement that further infuriated the populace but was one of the more heartfelt expressions of humanity to come out of BP’s side of the tragedy.

But it still wasn’t over.  “His life? What about ours?” the residents of the Gulf started to wail and cry.  Then Congress got involved, doing what they do best—spinning their wheels and wasting taxpayer dollars by putting on a public spectacle worthy of Roman gladiators, attempting to beat the oil industry in general and BP in particular into a bloody carcass for the delight of the American people. It got to be too much for Mr. Hayward, who had started the hearing hat in hand with apologies from BP.  When the inanity continued and refused to let up, he returned after a break with an attitude of disdain for the process.  He began answering questions with perceived contempt, even looking at his watch at one point as if to ask when it would finally be over.  He left the hearing more despised than before, but the entire point was missed by many people who watched every interminable moment of the proceedings.  The exercise was a waste of time.  It might have made people feel better by putting a human face on the disaster rather than a corporate one, but not one more gallon of oil was captured or prevented from flowing when it was over. Congress doubtless thinks they did their job and justified their place in the government, but all they really did was to stir an already smelly pot (literally and figuratively) while fanning the flames of public outrage.

When will we learn?  It is every single person’s responsibility to do what they can, to pull together in times of crisis to solve whatever problem has presented itself.  As for the Gulf spill, there will be time after the well is plugged and the cleanup is underway to assign blame and collect retribution.  Oh, and you media types?  Why don’t you do right now what you do so well after a disaster—turn your cameras off, go away, and stop making a circus out of this mess.  Only this time, give updates when something newsworthy is happening, and try to find some bright spots in this dark night of our souls. Stop being so incendiary and be more helpful. Screw the ratings for once. That goes for especially for you, CNN—dump the ‘bug’ on your screen pointing out how many days the oil crisis has gone on.  When the blame game is played everyone loses.

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July 29, 2010

Swearing Off Network TV

(or Why Did I Leave My Computer In The First Place?)

My life before 2006 was much simpler and happier.  I spent a lot of time on my computer (web surfing, writing, other “real work”-type of activities) and seldom watched TV.  When I did watch it was usually never “network TV,” except for Smallville. (I love me some Kristin Kreuk.)  In the morning I’d tune in CNN’s Headline News during breakfast.  Most evenings I’d watch NBC’s Nightly News during dinner (since Chicken Noodle News stopped doing news in the evenings years ago), then switch to see what was on Sci-Fi channel or let music videos from VH-1 Classic play in the background while I worked on my PC.  There was little anxiety or strife in my TV habits and I was happy.

 Then in the summer of 2006 I saw ads for two new NBC shows.  The first one that grabbed my attention was Heroes.  Those previews of Claire jumping off a tower for a camcorder’s benefit and picking herself up afterward made me think “I have to watch that!”  The second show was Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.  Its premise piqued my interest: a behind-the-scenes look at the lives of people putting on a weekly comedy show strikingly similar to Saturday Night Live.  Matt Perry looked like he’d be great, and the show had Amanda Peet as well (I love me some Amanda Peet).  Besides, I’ve worked in the technical side of TV and loved it, so I thought I’d enjoy a behind-the-scenes drama about the subject.  I watched the first episodes of each and was hooked.  I was then engaged in three network TV series plus Smallville and Battlestar Galactica.  I started gauging my evening’s activities by what was on TV.  All was bliss.

 Then the ax fell and NBC cancelled Studio 60.  The writing had been great, the dialog witty, and the characters engaging.  At the time NBC said the show was “having trouble finding its audience,” which meant it wasn’t getting enough eyeballs to give it a second season despite critical acclaim.  They said the same thing about Friday Night Lights, but apparently felt it deserved a second chance since it was about one of America’s pastimes (and had hot young actresses playing cheerleaders).  A behind-the-scenes sitcom about a “fictional” NBC that debuted the same year called 30 Rock was spared as well, though its ratings were higher.  I was greatly saddened by this turn of events.  As an aside, I just spent some time trying to find a quote from Studio 60 and stumbled across this page.  Reading the quotes there actually hurt, as it reminded me acutely how damn good the writing was on this show.  Stupid NBC.

 The following fall NBC announced a new show called Journeyman about a time-travelling reporter.  The promos looked great although the advance reviews were mixed.  Many people said it was a Quantum Leap rip-off without having seen one episode.  I watched the first episode and was hooked—it had a novel storyline, the writing was great, and it had Moon Bloodgood (I love me some Moon Bloodgood…are you sensing a pattern here?).  It was another show that was “having problems finding its audience,” but the general opinion was that NBC would at least give the show the rest of its first year to settle in. 

 Then along came the Writers Guild of America’s strike of 2007-2008.  Shows were shelved for several months while Hollywood fought with the greedy, godless writers who dared to deprive audiences of their entertainment fix.  The networks force-fed their audiences a diet of reality shows and other non-scripted programming during the strike in an attempt to hold them over.  An agreement was finally reached and most shows came back to finish out their seasons.  Journeyman was cancelled at that point, though fortunately the show’s creator foresaw that it might not return and gave the fans somewhat of a wrap-up in the last episode. (If you were a Journeyman fan and were left with questions about what was happening and what could have been, check out the interview with show creator Kevin Falls at Ain’t It Cool News.) The Powers That Be at Heroes decided to take the rest of the season off and start up again the following September.  This would prove to be, in my mind at least, a mistake that broke the show’s momentum and gave their viewers a chance to forget about it for months.

 By this time the only thing holding me to NBC was Heroes. After the show returned its plotlines became a bit boring but I still tuned in.  Then last fall ABC started promoting a new ‘high concept’ show called FlashForward. The promos looked great and, after watching an incredible first episode, I was hooked again.  (I.L.M.S. Sonya Walger and Peyton List.)  After investing months watching both remaining must-sees on my schedule, the month of May brought what has now become familiar news from both NBC and ABC: Heroes and FlashForward were being cancelled.

 Now both networks are joyfully hopping around like children, waving their arms and singing, “We’ve got some fantastic new shows coming this fall!  You’re going to l-o-o-o-v-e them! Just watch!”  However, I’ve already turned off my TV.  NBC has proven they can’t program their way out of a ramen noodle container (if you doubt that, look at the Jay Leno / Conan O’Brien debacle earlier this year).  As for ABC?  I’m sure they have many other good shows on their schedule but NBC has already poisoned the network TV well for me.  I’m through with investing time and emotional capital into shows with plotlines and characters that die premature deaths.  I used to chuckle when my mom would complain, “They cancelled my show!  Again!” I wasn’t that involved with TV back then because I had other pursuits.  Now I know firsthand what she was talking about and can empathize.

 I can’t hold NBC completely to blame here.  I’m going to place a big steamy pile on the Writers Guild of America’s doorstep.  Several years back their leadership decided to force an issue with Hollywood.  While studio bigwigs were trying to define what the new media landscape would look like, the Guild decided their writers needed their cut of any possible action.  I felt for them since I’m a writer and hoped that they’d represent me some day.  I even sent several boxes of pencils to the studios as part of a protest movement during the strike to help the WGA get their point across.  After the strike ended many in Tinseltown questioned what was actually gained.  The studios still couldn’t identify what new media would be (and they still don’t know two years later!). Additionally they decided to play hardball with the writers by restructuring the way they did business.  There used to be development positions at the studios in which writers were kept on-staff and paid to create pilot episodes of new series.  Those positions pretty much disappeared  post-strike, and the studios further decided to cut costs by adding more “unscripted dramas” (read: reality shows) to their lineups.  The result–writers were left holding an empty bag of make-believe gold while they stood in unemployment lines.  The real losers at the end of the supply chain, you and I, are left looking at the Boob Tube and wondering what the hell happened to good TV.  There’s a good article on the strike here.

 I can hear some of you saying, “Ah, but I don’t watch network TV.  I watch (cable/satellite) and their shows have always been better.”  The pool of striking writers also served those markets as well, and I’d have to ask how many of your favorites have been dropped lately in those venues.  FX sliced Damages and Nip/Tuck, TNT axed both Raising the Bar and Saving Grace, HBO de-tuned Flight of the Conchords, ABC Family killed 10 Things I Hate About You, Ruby & the Rockets, and Lincoln Heights…should I go on?  Then there’s the execs who think that viewers are so dumb and easily distracted that they offer “short seasons” of shows on a regular basis—one of SciFi (sorry, ‘SyFy’) Channel’s top-performing shows, Eureka, has been produced in bite-sized chunks for several years now. I can see their quandary, though–they have so much quality programming they have to air (wrestling and sucky made-for-TV movies come to mind) and there’s only so many hours in a day…

 Can anyone reading this remember when a regular TV season was 26 episodes, and networks re-ran the show’s episodes during the off-season so you could catch up if you missed one?

 Hollywood takes a lot of justified criticism for its lack of original thinking (“Let’s remake Charlie’s Angels again!”), so why can’t they make a sitcom about that? Would anyone watch Network Programmers Behaving Badly?  Oh, my mistake…we already are.

Lately I’ve been seeing promos during NBC’s news about a new fall show called “The Event,” which is apparently a ‘conspiracy’ thriller.  There are handheld camera shots of some things going on with groups of people, with rapid cuts, then something happens and they panic.  One of the shots include a large airplane headed straight for the camera. Then you see the words: “What is the Event.”  These promos do not give any information about the show itself, just a general feeling that something very bad is about to happen.  All I have to say is: Don’t worry.  Whatever “The Event” is, there’s a good chance NBC will cancel the show before it can cause any problems.

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January 28, 2010

An X10 Tip—Delaying a Trigger Signal to a Powerflash Module

I recently upgraded my home theater to bring it current with high-def content.  My 12 year-old 50” standard-def rear-projection set was replaced by a 60” plasma display, and my non-HDMI capable A/V receiver was dumped in favor of an Onkyo 7.1-channel preamp/processor.  (Naturally, the 9.2-channel version with Internet streaming audio came out a month later.)  This gave me an opportunity to finally install the separate power amps I purchased as surplus from my employer several years ago.

After opening the pre/pro and perusing the manual I realized I’d need a method of controlling the amps.  The Crest Audio Vs-450s have mechanical power switches and no trigger inputs.  The Onkyo has three trigger voltage outputs that are programmable as to when they turn on.  I needed some sort of interface between the pre/pro in my living room and the amps, which I located in a basement equipment rack.  Basement installation was necessary because the amps have big cooling fans in their front panels.  I went to the web and shopped around for trigger voltage-controlled power strips.  Several companies make them, and they’re pricey (around $200 for a two-outlet unit).  That was out of the question.

I then considered building my own trigger-controlled outlets.  I found several schematics and blog posts from people who’d built their own, but I really didn’t want to tackle yet another project.  Then inspiration hit me—I use X10 for home control, so why not use it to control the amps?  I ordered three Powerflash modules and five X10 appliance switches, and sketched out how everything would connect.  The X10 Powerflash modules have two screw terminals for an input, and can take either a control voltage or a simple switch closure (selectable by a switch on the module).  The voltage input would come from an Onkyo trigger output.  The module has three possible modes of operation; one mode will send an X10 ‘on’ command when voltage is first applied and an ‘off’ command when the voltage is dropped.  Each amp would be plugged into an appliance module and be set to a unique address that matched one of the Powerflash interfaces.  I could theoretically turn amps on and off when needed depending on the listening mode.  For example, if I wished to listen to 2-channel music I could turn on only the front left – front right amp.  When I switch to a movie surround mode other amps would come on.  This would allow a degree of ‘green’ operation and save some money on the power bill.  It was the perfect solution (or so I thought)!

I wired everything together and turned the system on for the first time, but the amps didn’t power up.  I could turn them on with a wired mini-controller but the Powerflash modules didn’t seem to work.  After a bit I had a forehead-slapping moment.  My DirecTV DVR is connected to a UPS in the equipment rack, and UPSes are notorious X10 signal eaters.  I dug out a filter specifically designed for signal-interfering devices and plugged the UPS into it.  No change—the Powerflash modules still didn’t work.  Then I realized that the APC  home theater power bar I’d installed would also filter out X10 signals.  To get around this I ran wires from the Onkyo trigger outputs through the wall and down into the basement.  I mounted an unfiltered power strip on a floor joist below the living room and plugged the Powerflash modules into it.  The power strip was then plugged into a basement AC outlet on a separate breaker from the entertainment system (but on the same phase in the breaker box).  Success!  The amps would then turn on with the pre/pro.

I spent some time listening to the new system and was very pleased with what I heard.  Even without calibration it sounded fantastic.  I was ecstatic!  Then I turned the system off and went downstairs for something, and that’s when I discovered that the amps hadn’t turned off.  After several hours of testing I again found that the amps would turn off with the mini-controller in the living room, so I used that as a stopgap measure while I thought the problem through.  Several days later I realized what the problem was.  The amps would turn on okay because I had the Onkyo programmed with a 1-second delay between triggers.  For example, on power-up the first trigger voltage was activated.  A second later the second trigger activated, and the third trigger finally activated two seconds after the first.  This gave each module’s signal a chance to transmit.  When the power is shut off, however, all the trigger voltages go off at once.  All three Powerflash modules send their X10 commands at the same time and they collide; consequently the appliance modules never get their signals and the amps stay on.  There’s no way to adjust for this condition in the Onkyo.  It was time for more head-scratching.  How could I delay the trigger voltages just long enough to ensure there would be no collisions?

The idea proved to be fairly simple.

X-10 Trigger Voltage Delay Circuit

Figure 1. X-10 Trigger Voltage Delay Circuit

The circuit I constructed consists of just two components, a blocking diode and an electrolytic capacitor.  The capacitor, once charged by the trigger voltage, will retain that charge for a short time after voltage is removed before dropping it.  This should be long enough for a non-delayed Powerflash to transmit its signal and avoid a data collision.  The blocking diode prevents the capacitor’s voltage from bleeding back into the Onkyo’s trigger voltage output.  Any other delayed Powerflash modules would have a different value capacitor to ensure the other  modules transmitted first.  I determined the capacitor value by trial and error.  As it turns out, a 2200 uF, 25 volt capacitor will hold its voltage in this application approximately 22 seconds.  A 220 uF cap holds its voltage for just over two seconds.  So to calculate the time delay, multiply the delay time period (in seconds) by 100, then round up or down to a standard capacitor value (in microfarads).  I built my delay circuit on a small piece of perfboard and used two mini screw terminal blocks to connect the input and output wires.  I protected the entire assembly from shorts by placing a piece of heatshrink tubing over it.

If you do any work with X10 devices, especially Powerflash modules, this little circuit could come in handy.

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