July 29, 2010

Swearing Off Network TV

(or Why Did I Leave My Computer In The First Place?)

My life before 2006 was much simpler and happier.  I spent a lot of time on my computer (web surfing, writing, other “real work”-type of activities) and seldom watched TV.  When I did watch it was usually never “network TV,” except for Smallville. (I love me some Kristin Kreuk.)  In the morning I’d tune in CNN’s Headline News during breakfast.  Most evenings I’d watch NBC’s Nightly News during dinner (since Chicken Noodle News stopped doing news in the evenings years ago), then switch to see what was on Sci-Fi channel or let music videos from VH-1 Classic play in the background while I worked on my PC.  There was little anxiety or strife in my TV habits and I was happy.

 Then in the summer of 2006 I saw ads for two new NBC shows.  The first one that grabbed my attention was Heroes.  Those previews of Claire jumping off a tower for a camcorder’s benefit and picking herself up afterward made me think “I have to watch that!”  The second show was Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.  Its premise piqued my interest: a behind-the-scenes look at the lives of people putting on a weekly comedy show strikingly similar to Saturday Night Live.  Matt Perry looked like he’d be great, and the show had Amanda Peet as well (I love me some Amanda Peet).  Besides, I’ve worked in the technical side of TV and loved it, so I thought I’d enjoy a behind-the-scenes drama about the subject.  I watched the first episodes of each and was hooked.  I was then engaged in three network TV series plus Smallville and Battlestar Galactica.  I started gauging my evening’s activities by what was on TV.  All was bliss.

 Then the ax fell and NBC cancelled Studio 60.  The writing had been great, the dialog witty, and the characters engaging.  At the time NBC said the show was “having trouble finding its audience,” which meant it wasn’t getting enough eyeballs to give it a second season despite critical acclaim.  They said the same thing about Friday Night Lights, but apparently felt it deserved a second chance since it was about one of America’s pastimes (and had hot young actresses playing cheerleaders).  A behind-the-scenes sitcom about a “fictional” NBC that debuted the same year called 30 Rock was spared as well, though its ratings were higher.  I was greatly saddened by this turn of events.  As an aside, I just spent some time trying to find a quote from Studio 60 and stumbled across this page.  Reading the quotes there actually hurt, as it reminded me acutely how damn good the writing was on this show.  Stupid NBC.

 The following fall NBC announced a new show called Journeyman about a time-travelling reporter.  The promos looked great although the advance reviews were mixed.  Many people said it was a Quantum Leap rip-off without having seen one episode.  I watched the first episode and was hooked—it had a novel storyline, the writing was great, and it had Moon Bloodgood (I love me some Moon Bloodgood…are you sensing a pattern here?).  It was another show that was “having problems finding its audience,” but the general opinion was that NBC would at least give the show the rest of its first year to settle in. 

 Then along came the Writers Guild of America’s strike of 2007-2008.  Shows were shelved for several months while Hollywood fought with the greedy, godless writers who dared to deprive audiences of their entertainment fix.  The networks force-fed their audiences a diet of reality shows and other non-scripted programming during the strike in an attempt to hold them over.  An agreement was finally reached and most shows came back to finish out their seasons.  Journeyman was cancelled at that point, though fortunately the show’s creator foresaw that it might not return and gave the fans somewhat of a wrap-up in the last episode. (If you were a Journeyman fan and were left with questions about what was happening and what could have been, check out the interview with show creator Kevin Falls at Ain’t It Cool News.) The Powers That Be at Heroes decided to take the rest of the season off and start up again the following September.  This would prove to be, in my mind at least, a mistake that broke the show’s momentum and gave their viewers a chance to forget about it for months.

 By this time the only thing holding me to NBC was Heroes. After the show returned its plotlines became a bit boring but I still tuned in.  Then last fall ABC started promoting a new ‘high concept’ show called FlashForward. The promos looked great and, after watching an incredible first episode, I was hooked again.  (I.L.M.S. Sonya Walger and Peyton List.)  After investing months watching both remaining must-sees on my schedule, the month of May brought what has now become familiar news from both NBC and ABC: Heroes and FlashForward were being cancelled.

 Now both networks are joyfully hopping around like children, waving their arms and singing, “We’ve got some fantastic new shows coming this fall!  You’re going to l-o-o-o-v-e them! Just watch!”  However, I’ve already turned off my TV.  NBC has proven they can’t program their way out of a ramen noodle container (if you doubt that, look at the Jay Leno / Conan O’Brien debacle earlier this year).  As for ABC?  I’m sure they have many other good shows on their schedule but NBC has already poisoned the network TV well for me.  I’m through with investing time and emotional capital into shows with plotlines and characters that die premature deaths.  I used to chuckle when my mom would complain, “They cancelled my show!  Again!” I wasn’t that involved with TV back then because I had other pursuits.  Now I know firsthand what she was talking about and can empathize.

 I can’t hold NBC completely to blame here.  I’m going to place a big steamy pile on the Writers Guild of America’s doorstep.  Several years back their leadership decided to force an issue with Hollywood.  While studio bigwigs were trying to define what the new media landscape would look like, the Guild decided their writers needed their cut of any possible action.  I felt for them since I’m a writer and hoped that they’d represent me some day.  I even sent several boxes of pencils to the studios as part of a protest movement during the strike to help the WGA get their point across.  After the strike ended many in Tinseltown questioned what was actually gained.  The studios still couldn’t identify what new media would be (and they still don’t know two years later!). Additionally they decided to play hardball with the writers by restructuring the way they did business.  There used to be development positions at the studios in which writers were kept on-staff and paid to create pilot episodes of new series.  Those positions pretty much disappeared  post-strike, and the studios further decided to cut costs by adding more “unscripted dramas” (read: reality shows) to their lineups.  The result–writers were left holding an empty bag of make-believe gold while they stood in unemployment lines.  The real losers at the end of the supply chain, you and I, are left looking at the Boob Tube and wondering what the hell happened to good TV.  There’s a good article on the strike here.

 I can hear some of you saying, “Ah, but I don’t watch network TV.  I watch (cable/satellite) and their shows have always been better.”  The pool of striking writers also served those markets as well, and I’d have to ask how many of your favorites have been dropped lately in those venues.  FX sliced Damages and Nip/Tuck, TNT axed both Raising the Bar and Saving Grace, HBO de-tuned Flight of the Conchords, ABC Family killed 10 Things I Hate About You, Ruby & the Rockets, and Lincoln Heights…should I go on?  Then there’s the execs who think that viewers are so dumb and easily distracted that they offer “short seasons” of shows on a regular basis—one of SciFi (sorry, ‘SyFy’) Channel’s top-performing shows, Eureka, has been produced in bite-sized chunks for several years now. I can see their quandary, though–they have so much quality programming they have to air (wrestling and sucky made-for-TV movies come to mind) and there’s only so many hours in a day…

 Can anyone reading this remember when a regular TV season was 26 episodes, and networks re-ran the show’s episodes during the off-season so you could catch up if you missed one?

 Hollywood takes a lot of justified criticism for its lack of original thinking (“Let’s remake Charlie’s Angels again!”), so why can’t they make a sitcom about that? Would anyone watch Network Programmers Behaving Badly?  Oh, my mistake…we already are.

Lately I’ve been seeing promos during NBC’s news about a new fall show called “The Event,” which is apparently a ‘conspiracy’ thriller.  There are handheld camera shots of some things going on with groups of people, with rapid cuts, then something happens and they panic.  One of the shots include a large airplane headed straight for the camera. Then you see the words: “What is the Event.”  These promos do not give any information about the show itself, just a general feeling that something very bad is about to happen.  All I have to say is: Don’t worry.  Whatever “The Event” is, there’s a good chance NBC will cancel the show before it can cause any problems.

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January 28, 2010

An X10 Tip—Delaying a Trigger Signal to a Powerflash Module

I recently upgraded my home theater to bring it current with high-def content.  My 12 year-old 50” standard-def rear-projection set was replaced by a 60” plasma display, and my non-HDMI capable A/V receiver was dumped in favor of an Onkyo 7.1-channel preamp/processor.  (Naturally, the 9.2-channel version with Internet streaming audio came out a month later.)  This gave me an opportunity to finally install the separate power amps I purchased as surplus from my employer several years ago.

After opening the pre/pro and perusing the manual I realized I’d need a method of controlling the amps.  The Crest Audio Vs-450s have mechanical power switches and no trigger inputs.  The Onkyo has three trigger voltage outputs that are programmable as to when they turn on.  I needed some sort of interface between the pre/pro in my living room and the amps, which I located in a basement equipment rack.  Basement installation was necessary because the amps have big cooling fans in their front panels.  I went to the web and shopped around for trigger voltage-controlled power strips.  Several companies make them, and they’re pricey (around $200 for a two-outlet unit).  That was out of the question.

I then considered building my own trigger-controlled outlets.  I found several schematics and blog posts from people who’d built their own, but I really didn’t want to tackle yet another project.  Then inspiration hit me—I use X10 for home control, so why not use it to control the amps?  I ordered three Powerflash modules and five X10 appliance switches, and sketched out how everything would connect.  The X10 Powerflash modules have two screw terminals for an input, and can take either a control voltage or a simple switch closure (selectable by a switch on the module).  The voltage input would come from an Onkyo trigger output.  The module has three possible modes of operation; one mode will send an X10 ‘on’ command when voltage is first applied and an ‘off’ command when the voltage is dropped.  Each amp would be plugged into an appliance module and be set to a unique address that matched one of the Powerflash interfaces.  I could theoretically turn amps on and off when needed depending on the listening mode.  For example, if I wished to listen to 2-channel music I could turn on only the front left – front right amp.  When I switch to a movie surround mode other amps would come on.  This would allow a degree of ‘green’ operation and save some money on the power bill.  It was the perfect solution (or so I thought)!

I wired everything together and turned the system on for the first time, but the amps didn’t power up.  I could turn them on with a wired mini-controller but the Powerflash modules didn’t seem to work.  After a bit I had a forehead-slapping moment.  My DirecTV DVR is connected to a UPS in the equipment rack, and UPSes are notorious X10 signal eaters.  I dug out a filter specifically designed for signal-interfering devices and plugged the UPS into it.  No change—the Powerflash modules still didn’t work.  Then I realized that the APC  home theater power bar I’d installed would also filter out X10 signals.  To get around this I ran wires from the Onkyo trigger outputs through the wall and down into the basement.  I mounted an unfiltered power strip on a floor joist below the living room and plugged the Powerflash modules into it.  The power strip was then plugged into a basement AC outlet on a separate breaker from the entertainment system (but on the same phase in the breaker box).  Success!  The amps would then turn on with the pre/pro.

I spent some time listening to the new system and was very pleased with what I heard.  Even without calibration it sounded fantastic.  I was ecstatic!  Then I turned the system off and went downstairs for something, and that’s when I discovered that the amps hadn’t turned off.  After several hours of testing I again found that the amps would turn off with the mini-controller in the living room, so I used that as a stopgap measure while I thought the problem through.  Several days later I realized what the problem was.  The amps would turn on okay because I had the Onkyo programmed with a 1-second delay between triggers.  For example, on power-up the first trigger voltage was activated.  A second later the second trigger activated, and the third trigger finally activated two seconds after the first.  This gave each module’s signal a chance to transmit.  When the power is shut off, however, all the trigger voltages go off at once.  All three Powerflash modules send their X10 commands at the same time and they collide; consequently the appliance modules never get their signals and the amps stay on.  There’s no way to adjust for this condition in the Onkyo.  It was time for more head-scratching.  How could I delay the trigger voltages just long enough to ensure there would be no collisions?

The idea proved to be fairly simple.

X-10 Trigger Voltage Delay Circuit

Figure 1. X-10 Trigger Voltage Delay Circuit

The circuit I constructed consists of just two components, a blocking diode and an electrolytic capacitor.  The capacitor, once charged by the trigger voltage, will retain that charge for a short time after voltage is removed before dropping it.  This should be long enough for a non-delayed Powerflash to transmit its signal and avoid a data collision.  The blocking diode prevents the capacitor’s voltage from bleeding back into the Onkyo’s trigger voltage output.  Any other delayed Powerflash modules would have a different value capacitor to ensure the other  modules transmitted first.  I determined the capacitor value by trial and error.  As it turns out, a 2200 uF, 25 volt capacitor will hold its voltage in this application approximately 22 seconds.  A 220 uF cap holds its voltage for just over two seconds.  So to calculate the time delay, multiply the delay time period (in seconds) by 100, then round up or down to a standard capacitor value (in microfarads).  I built my delay circuit on a small piece of perfboard and used two mini screw terminal blocks to connect the input and output wires.  I protected the entire assembly from shorts by placing a piece of heatshrink tubing over it.

If you do any work with X10 devices, especially Powerflash modules, this little circuit could come in handy.

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November 5, 2009

Banging my head against the digital wall…

…or, Why do I bother with Internet “projects?”

I consider myself a ‘maker’ and a ‘hacker.’  There’s just something about taking a device and enhancing its capabilities, or making it do something its original designers never intended that excites me.  To that end I’ve hacked Amiga computers and written about my discoveries in the old Amazing Computing for the Commodore Amiga magazine (adding 1 MB of Chip RAM, installing high-density floppies, building keyboard adapters) in the 1990’s, then moved on to IBM computers.  I’ve upgraded an old Compaq 286 portable to a 386sx CPU, and taken an IBM A20m laptop from a stock Pentium III 600 MHz CPU to a 900 MHz CPU, adding internal antennas for Wi-Fi while I was at it.  My home router runs DD-WRT instead of the stock firmware.  I’m working on changing the built-in, normally unchangeable sounds on my Sony-Ericsson w300i cellphone so it sounds like a classic Star Trek communicator.  I added mod chips to my videogame consoles long ago, and recently softmodded an original Xbox from a thrift store junket to allow me to run XBMC on it.  You get the idea. If I can hack it I’m into it.  However, some recent experiences with Internet ‘projects’ have frustrated my inner maker/hacker and I have to vent about it.

About five years ago I purchased a Dell Axim X50v PDA.  I wanted something small that would provide internet access while travelling.  I’d read about this touchscreen-equipped wonder that ran Windows Mobile 2003 and decided to spend some of my tax refund dollars on it.  I also purchased an infrared keyboard to allow easier typing.  My experience was fairly unpleasant.  The integrated version of Internet Explorer was slow, and the other browser I’d installed (the name of which I’ve long since forgotten) wasn’t much better.  When I returned home I tried using the thing as a PDA but found that my needs weren’t well served by such a device.  I plopped it in a drawer and forgot about it.

Fast forward to Fall 2008.  I read online that some enterprising tinkerers (calling themselves “ROM cookers”) had found out how to load Windows Mobile 6 on these devices.  The upgrade process was something of a pain, but the results were supposedly astounding.  Greater speed, ease of use, ability to use newer programs, and so on were the mentioned advantages.  One “cooker” even created software that would turn this little PDA into a VoIP phone!  I dug out the X50v and began reading up on the topic.

I found out that loading this software probably violated some Micro$oft license agreements.  (I didn’t care about that.)  I also found out that the “cookers” were butterflies.  They’d create a version of the software and then try it on a number of different phones and devices.  I thought this was pretty cool at first, as they were spreading their hacking knowledge across multiple platforms.  However, what I quickly discovered was that they were so busy proliferating their software amongst platforms that they weren’t finishing what they’d begun.  For example, one cooker by the handle of LennySh began a version of Windows Mobile 6.1 for the X50v and released it as Alpha software (first preliminary testing version).  Rather than finishing it he began working on a version 6.5 build.  That would have been okay except that he’d created two different unfinished versions, both of which had serious flaws in that some integral features (think Bluetooth or networking) didn’t work correctly.  He then went off to pollinate other platforms. 

I posted a challenge in one of the online forums at HTCGeeks.  I did some obligatory @ss-kissing (usually necessary in order to avoid getting flamed but that didn’t work), then told the cookers that they should finish what they start before moving along to other platforms.  I did all this nicely.  I was promptly lambasted for being an ungrateful douchebag and told that one cooker might be prompted to finish up if I donated an offering to his Paypal account.  I then got the usual comments—they do this free and on their own time, what were you expecting for nothing, you should be grateful for what you get, et cetera.  I posted several well-thought-out replies but left the challenge standing–to quote Van Halen: “C’mon baby, finish what you started.”  A good while went by before LennySh tuned in to the thread and answered.  It seems he no longer owns an X50v, but he mentioned he’d have to get another one and promised to release an update soon.  I’ve put the Axim away for now.  I was planning on turning it into a touchscreen remote controller for my home theater, but ran across several iPaq Pocket PCs that I spent way less money on.  I’ll use those instead.

Another project I learned about several years ago allowed you to take an MSNTV2  ‘WebTV’ set-top box and use it as a regular computer (http://www.settoplinux.org/index.php?title=RCA_RM4100 ). That was okay, I suppose—the box was extremely small and could often be purchased cheaply.  What flipped my switch was the discovery that the normally locked-down BIOS could be unlocked and hacked to allow Linux to be loaded on the box.  That would turn it into an extremely small media player that would be hooked to the network and a TV or stereo system, enabling streaming audio and video.  The development work was in its preliminary stages but looked extremely promising, so I purchased a box with its accessories at a local thrift store. 

I’ve continued to keep up with developments.  There’s a project afoot to create an open, universal BIOS that can be loaded on a number of computers and motherboards called Coreboot (www.coreboot.org); the RM4100 was added to the list of supported platforms.  While a number of problems were solved concerning support for the box’s on-board hardware, the developers still had trouble getting the on-board video and audio outputs to work.  The box also has places on the circuit board that, when components are added, allows the addition of a digital audio output.  From what I can determine no one has tried adding those parts.  You can, however, add a VGA jack to the board and hook up a PC monitor to the box.  I think most folks are like me—they’d love to add a player like this to their home entertainment system but they don’t want to add a VGA monitor.  The non-operational outputs are badly needed to make the project viable.  The recent discovery of hardware documentation for the box, as well as the purchase of an original “development box” by a user who dumped the unlocked BIOS for the project, seem to indicate that a breakthrough may be imminent.  I’m not holding my breath but things look good.

Then there’s the guy who built his own MiniMoog keyboard synthesizer (http://www.meadowfield.freeuk.com/synth/mini.html ).  I’ve wanted my own keyboard synthesizer since the 1970’s when I first heard Edgar Winter’s “Frankenstein.”  I worked for Radio Shack at the time, and they carried a Moog variant called a Concertmate-1.  I could never afford one on my meager paycheck, and as the years went by other priorities took my cash.  This guy wanted a MiniMoog but couldn’t afford a used one (these are now pricey antiques), so he designed circuit boards around the original schematics (upgrading parts as necessary due to obsolescence) and built his own!  Pretty slick—but this is one of those “bragging rights” projects where he won’t share his PC artwork and doesn’t even show pictures of all the boards he designed.  I know he won’t share because I asked several years ago. Anyone who wanted to follow his lead and build one themselves would have a harder time as they’d be starting from scratch.  I have no use for these kinds of maker/hackers.  If you’re going to show it and talk about it, then help others to do it themselves by providing the necessary information.  Anything less is simply Internet noise and isn’t worthy of the eyeball time.

That’s a short list of specific projects…there are many more I can list (the Cyclone 20, a USB interface for reading/writing Amiga disks on a PC comes to mind), but you get the point.  There’s a lot of great information out there on the triple-dub, but there are far too many unfinished or incomplete projects.  You can certainly find inspiration for your inner maker from other’s efforts.  Just don’t expect to duplicate what you see unless you’re willing to completely re-engineer those efforts yourself.

Speaking of duplicating other’s efforts, a great Internet site for prospective makers has recently fallen victim to the poor economy.  Instructables.com used to be a great site to see all sorts of do-it-yourself projects.  People wrote up instructions and assembled pictorials on everything from making Pepto-Bismol ice cream to re-using old VCR parts.  I considered the site a must-visit for several years before some things started to change.  First, the site began to require users to get a free account and log in before allowing them to see complete pictorials.  This was a hassle as I didn’t want to log in every time I visited and I couldn’t find a way to make a persistent login. Then, several months ago they began severely restricting what visitors could access.  A visitor can view the first picture on a page, but if they wanted to see a larger version of a second or third picture they’re hit with an advertisement to “Go Pro.”  “Going Pro” means establishing an account with a minimum $2.00 per month charge.  What do you get for $24.00 a year?  Certainly not freedom from ads—they promise more “targeted” ads suited for your individual tastes.  I sent a message to their publisher expressing my displeasure and received a polite but typical “We’re sorry you feel that way, but you’ll really miss out” message in return.

What’s my take on this?  The site is stealing from its members.  They use their member’s published works to make money by selling memberships, but do not compensate the members for their efforts.  If you, as a maker, want to contribute your hard work to a closed community for no compensation and limit the dissemination of your work then this is the place to be.  I believe this is against the spirit of free information sharing and refuse to participate. 

I have several projects I’ll be posting here, and I’m not going to charge for the information in any way.  You’re free to use it as you please, dear reader, and I hope it helps you in some way.  Just don’t do anything illegal or immoral with the information, and don’t kill or maim yourself by following my instructions.  I can’t be held liable if you do something dumb.

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November 16, 2008

A few things that really irk me

Here’s where my inner Andy Rooney comes out.

How many times have you parked somewhere, between a couple of “normal” vehicles with regular glass in them, only to come back and find that someone with a privacy fetish and dark-tinted windows has now parked next to you?  I shouldn’t mind, I suppose, what with all the crime and stolen vehicles and whatnot.  Here’s the problem I have with this situation: even though I have a pickup truck with great visibility, the darkened windows on that other vehicle make it impossible to safely back out of my parking space.  If drivers are the same where you are, dear reader, you take your life in your hands when trying to back out of a parking space.  Other people can see you trying to back up, and they’ll drive right past you without stopping.  They think “It’s your fault if you hit me, even if I do see you backing up.  The law’s on my side.”  Perhaps they have the right-of-way, and perhaps it really would be my fault if I hit them.  However, they fail to realize that (most) parking lots are private property.  In my area you can call the police for parking lot collisions, but most of the time they won’t even show up.  There’s nothing they can do.  They also apparently don’t think about the inconvenience they’d experience from their car being in the shop, or how they might be seriously injured and spend time in a hospital.  Just like they don’t think about how their darkly-tinted windows block other driver’s views though their windows so they can’t see oncoming traffic.  So, I’ll spend considerable time backing out like an old lady because I can’t see if another car is coming at me full-speed. 

Closely tied with this illusion that “the law’s on my side” are the morons who walk in front of approaching cars in a parking lot without even looking up.  They also won’t hesitate to walk behind cars that are backing out of parking spaces.  It”s almost as if they think “If I make eye contact I’ll have to acknowledge them and stop.  If I don’t look they’ll have to stop for me.”  Several times in my years of driving (not in the past ten years or so, though–I’ve mellowed out a bit) I’ve popped my car into neutral and gunned my engine, which scared the crap out of them and forced them to look up at me in fear. Then they’d realize I was going very slowly and look a bit upset.    In this case the law would be on their side if they were stricken by a vehicle.  The resulting damage to their bodies could be considerable and their recuperation long and painful, but the law would punish the person who struck them.  I figured that these people have a death wish, so if I could harmlessly remind them of their mortality they might think before stepping in front of (or behind) the next moving car.

I don’t trust other drivers.  I stop for people backing out of parking spaces, and I’ll wait to cross in front of a car even if they’ve stopped and waved me on.  For the life of me I can’t figure out why others don’t do the same.

Next, have you seen the trend in women’s sunglasses lately?  It used to be that sunglasses were “normal” sized, and a guy could admire a woman’s pretty face from afar.  The glasses usually complemented the wearer and made them look even better.  I think the trend started with actresses trying to hide from the paparazzi, but unfortunately women everywhere are adopting these oversized, black swimming goggles they pass off for shades.  These make it nearly impossible for a man to admire the beauty of the woman behind them.  No guy wants to approach a woman wearing the damned things–we assume that the wearer must be ugly so we don’t even bother to make contact, even if the rest of your package is nicely wrapped.  So ladies, if you are wondering why you can’t get a date look in the mirror…if you can see anything with those stupid-looking things on your face, that is.  Or, if you’re really serious, go pick up an automatically-darkening welder’s mask at Harbor Freight.  You just might start a fashion trend of your own!

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September 11, 2008

S-word Escapes NBC Censors on ‘Today’ Show

I had the TV on this morning while dressing for work.  It was around 7:40 a.m. EST, and Matt Lauer was interviewing Hans Lange, an experienced base-jumper who crashed into the side of a cliff and ended up in a tree.  The video was interesting, but I’d turned my attention away from the screen while Matt carried on with the interview.  Then I heard something…I thought…what was that?  I picked up the TiVo remote and zipped back a half-minute to listen again.  Here’s what the folks on the East Coast heard (and was, as I was told later, edited from the Central and West Coast feeds):

Hans (discussing what happened immediately after landing in the tree):  I was okay.  I didn’t get hurt anywhere except one point and I realized in fact that moment when it happened and it was no doubt that my leg was broken, but it was also no doubt that I was okay elsewhere, you know? So it was like, I took off my equipment, I tried to get all the zippers out, and then I took off my camera, and like, okay, why don’t I make an interview with myself there?  I was angry with myself, you know? It was like, Arrrgh!  Ho-ly shit!

(Silence for several beats. A chuckle from Hans, along with a little chuckle from Matt, and a few nervous giggles from audience/stagehands.)

Matt:That’s Norweigan for, “Whoops, that was…”

(Many more laughs at this point as the tension is broken.)

Matt: So, you…you turned the camera… (more laughs.)

Hans: I am angry, you know?  With myself…

Matt:  Yeah, I think that’s the point.  So you say you turned the camera on yourself…

I put the TiVo on ‘record’ and dashed off for the day.  Live TV, I was told years go, is like toothpaste–once it’s out of the tube you can’t get it back in.  Today that saying has no validity.

On January 19, 2003 Bono famouslydropped the f-bomb during the Golden Globe awards telecast, saying “fucking brilliant” during his speech.  The Parents Television Council and “certain individuals” complained that the network and their affiliates violated broadcast decency rules. After an investigation the FCC exonerated ABC, saying in that in the context the word was used, it “does not describe or depict sexual and excretory  activities  and  organs.   The  word “fucking” may be crude and  offensive, but, in the context presented here, did not  describe sexual or excretory organs or  activities.    Rather,  the  performer  used   the  word “fucking”  as an  adjective or  expletive to  emphasize an exclamation.”  Their ruling (file number EB-03-IH-0110) makes interesting reading, especially in light of the fact that the organization has appointed itself the “broadcast guardian” of our country’s moral values during the last eight years of the Bush administration. 

My point is that this shouldn’t have happened in the first place.  Technology exists that would allow a program provider to delay their audio/video feeds for a short period of time.  This gives the sound guy a chance to bleep out the offending word before it can tarnish the ears of a discriminating public.  These have been de rigeur for use in live broadcast events for years now.  So what happened?  Did they switch it off?  Was the audio guy asleep?  Or was it a purposeful slip designed to pique viewer interest at a time when NBC can’t seem to get viewers to care about it’s existence?

Personally, I don’t care about the slip.  People are people.  Our choice of language helps others to form opinions about us (true or not), and when someone is relaxed and genuine you get a more accurate picture of who they are.  I consider myself an “Evangelical Christian,” but I hold no pretense that the world has to bend itself around to honor my views.  I’m sure the Evangelicals will raise some fuss about this, as well as the Parents Council on Sanitization of Our Public Airwaves, but I hope the FCC doesn’t listen.  It should (rightly) apply itself to more weighty matters, such as how they’re going to address their screw-ups in the ongoing digital TV transition.

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September 11, 2008

Large Hadron Collider–World Safe for Now

Most people have probably heard about the Large Hadron Collider (or LHC) by now.  If not, here’s the scoop: scientists have built a roughly 70-mile in circumference airless metal tube in Europe that borders three countries.  It’s buried underground, and has cost the countries and various member organizations billions of dollars to build.  Why?  Scientists hope that, by smashing atoms together and recording what happens during the resulting explosions, they can get an idea of what the universe looked like immediately after the “Big Bang.”  They know a number of different types of matter (the building blocks that make up everything) exist, but there are a number of things they’ve only guessed about.  Things like quarks, black holes, and so forth have all been theoretical up until now.  With this gigantic metal donut they hope to prove the existence of the things they’ve guessed about.    (Note that I’m not a particle physicist, nor have I played one on TV.  This is what I’ve been able to figure out by reading different sources of information.  If there are any scientists reading this who want to correct me, please go ahead.  Kindly.)  CERN has a lovely web site about it, with lots of impressive pictures, here.

Why does this matter (unintenional pun)?  By proving or disproving the theories that science has been operating on for decades, and learning new things along the way, then mankind may finally be able to crack the limitations of physics as we’ve known them.  Things like warp engines, intergalactic space travel, and many more mundane things may be invented as a result of these studies.  When the topic of black holes came up, some people became very nervous that the LHC might lead to the creation of a black hole capable of swallowing the Earth.  CERN was even targeted with a lawsuit that sought to keep them from turning it on. Scientists have pooh-poohed the idea, saying that any black holes that MIGHT be created would be on the molecular level and would cause no damage.

The initial turn-on test was today, and was considered a success.  According to the media, the test was quick and not under full power.  However, the LHC will be taken off-line during the winter for a comprehensive tune-up that will allow testing under considerably more power, involving larger explosions, next year.  News commentators made fun of the naysayers afterward.  Brian Williams of NBC’s Nightly News reported the test under the story title “We’re Still Here.”

As I mentioned, I’m not a particle physicist, but it seems to me that the creation of a catastrophic black hole event wouldn’t have occurred during these initial tests.  If such a thing were to happen, it would most likely occur after the device is fully tuned and making larger explosions.  So yes, we’re still here.  For now.  Next year, who knows?  Maybe we won’t destroy ourselves, but the energy generated during the LHC’s operation may result in more UFO activity and sightings…and wouldn’t that be more interesting than our sudden cessation of existence?

Oh, and by the way–to the two younger men overheard conversing in a restaurant lately about the LHC and the end of the world, it’s pronounced had-ron.  H-a-d-r-o-n.  The d comes before the r.  Although scientists involved in the testing might have been rejuvenated when the power was flipped on it was an unintended side effect.

Now back to life as we’ve known it…

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August 17, 2008

An introduction

Hello, and welcome to The Virtual Venesect!  My name’s Phil Combs, and I’m a middle-aged geek.  I have a number of interests and hobbies which I will write about here at one time or another.  One of my hobbies is hacking, otherwise known as making things work in ways their original designers never intended.  I hope to share some of those explorations, as well as information you may not find elsewhere.

I work in higher education, at a college in Southwest Ohio at the moment.  My department installs computers, video projection and A/V equipment into classrooms for the instructors to use.  I won’t discuss them much, if at all, and never by name.  Like most entities, my employer loves positive press–and wants it to go through their mill so it all comes out uniform and lovely.  They don’t take criticism well, and since I like my job and the people I work with, I don’t wish to provoke them. 

I’m a dog lover, and until recently have had two living with me.  Now there’s just a year-old Cocker Spaniel puppy named Sugarbear (not my name of choice, but he’d had the moniker for his first seven months and I didn’t want to change it) and the world’s most laid-back cat, Rocky.  I’ll tell you more about them in the future.

In addition to discussion of my other interests–diecast car collecting, photography, music, home theater and home automation, writing, computing, and pets–I’ll vent my spleen occasionally with opinions about the world at large and how silly people can be. 

I apologize if things are a bit sparse.  I’m new to the blogging scene and I’m just learning about the mechanics of it all.  I’m the only geek I know that didn’t have a web presence of some kind.  Today that has changed!  I hope you will enjoy reading as much as I’ll enjoy the writing.

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